It’s so easy to take something the wrong way, go off track, misconstrue, misread, or misinterpret. Especially in this time of communication via text, private messages, and comments.
You know the old saying about not assuming, and personally, I remind myself of that constantly yet find I do so often unconsciously.
The secret I think is how you handle it when there has been a misunderstanding or miscommunication. Do you detach, avoid, change the subject, or face the music to ‘clear the air’ so to speak? I like to think I’m able at this time in my life’s journey to be very authentic and upfront.
“I think I should clarify what I meant” or “I want to be sure you understand exactly what I am trying to say”.
When recognizing the other person or people just aren’t clicking or on the same page sometimes it might be a good idea to think things over for a bit and address the subject later before things escalate or become heated. Things can take a turn, become frustrating quickly and people say things they wish they hadn’t, or hit ‘send’ before really thinking things through.
During this heat wave, I started thinking about being ‘heated’ in other ways, how things affect us, even extreme weather can impact our moods, and patience levels and perhaps there is more than one way we have to think about ‘staying cool’ under different types of pressure. (Or in a pressure cooker situation.)
A ’cooling off period’ couldn’t hurt when feelings run high, opinions differ, and reason or rational strategic dialogue has flown out the window.
Did you know there is even a legal rule for a ‘cooling off period’ in consumer rights legislation when following a purchase it’s that period of time you have to return something having second thoughts on what you’ve bought. The same applies in real estate, home buyers can legally withdraw from the purchase within a certain amount of time.
In everyday life, decision-making and dealing with each other as individuals in work, school, community groups, and organizations it’s inevitable that we will experience differences of opinion. As we’ve heard often, life would be pretty boring if we were all the same.
I realize I’m using a lot of clichés here, we just aren’t all going to agree on everything all of the time. Do we agree to disagree, try harder to be understood, find compromise or will there suddenly be a new ‘light bulb moment’ through discussion and trying to be more objective and realistic in our viewpoint and how we express ourselves with others?
In a constant attempt at progression, growth and self-awareness I sure hope I’m getting better over time and improving my communication with others in an authentic, compassionate, objective and thoughtful way.
When all is said and done, it’s the golden rule that should be the guide, I think. Treat others how you want to be treated. Listen sincerely, strive to understand, be open to new perspectives and above all try not to jump to conclusions. Mutual agreements come through mutual understanding, respect, and a willingness to find a way through which will leave all involved at the very least feeling ‘heard’.
As Dr. Wayne W. Dyer said, “If you have the choice between being right and being kind, choose to be kind.”
It isn’t stressful to be kind, doesn’t take extra time to be kind, and it sure leaves you feeling much better about yourself in the long run.
Kahlil Gibran said, “The smallest act of kindness is worth more than the greatest of intention.”
If you have your own thoughts about communicating effectively in our busy world or advice on what works for you when expressing yourself, share your insights. You can email the editor at:
