Supervision, micromanagement or respectful 'guidance' - or am I just overly sensitive as I age?
I've never felt as 'supervised' or even 'micromanaged' in all my years of life as I have since being termed a 'senior.' It's astonishing actually. It's not only about returning to work following the pandemic and being semi-retired, but even by being overseen and advised by those close to me in a 'loving' way. I sense it to my core, even when subtle, nuanced or subliminal. It's puzzling and can be hurtful or disturbing at times, yet if reviewed with introspection, I admit it's also nice to be so cared for. I have to remind myself not to become defensive sometimes though, even if this "isn't my first rodeo" kids. As our Grandma Lillie would remind us, 'You are never too old to learn and grow.' She often told us she would leave this earth when she stopped learning in this earthly home and head to a heavenly place to continue. She lived until she was 98 - pretty impressive.
But seriously, just calm down everyone ( chastising myself as much as anyone else) I'm functioning pretty darn well at 70-years- old. (Not fishing just facts). Hey I'm still learning! Growing, progressing, confessing, stressing and flexing my writing muscles, that's not that shabby for a Gramma of 10.
What's discouraging? Well I'm gonna tell it like it is. Before I do. Please remember, one day sooner than you think. You'll be in my shoes. Just saying.
It gets pretty disheartening at times being 'overseen', reminded and managed — even a bit humorous when I read this back by some older than I am now 'just suggesting a new way of doing this' or a 'better way of doing that'! Combatting that feeling of momentary inadequacy internally is important I think and being able to laugh at myself when my 'itty bitty feelings' get a wee bit hurt as my beloved step-momma, Gerry would say. Suck it up, buttercup!
Let's face it, in reality those now managing are much younger, very savvy and wisely capable to teach us 'old dogs' new skills. Who said we stop learning? I guess we have to swallow our pride to gain more insight sometimes but it's worth the effort and it feels pretty great most of the time to stretch the brain muscles. I'm even grateful and appreciative of being respected with diplomatic guidance when being willingly taught something new or inspired to continue to try new more efficient ways of doing something.
Let's backtrack though. I detest and am absolutely hurtfully disrespected when condescended to. I believe some 'old school' professionalism and manners continue to go a long way in relationship building, whether that is personally or professionally. Showing sincere, authentic and deserved gratitude, respect or diplomacy doesn't take much effort and much less time than dealing with the outcome or backlash from criticism or sarcastic comments. As a parent I never believed in humiliation tactics to teach and that carries through in every aspect of life, personal, business or everyday interactions. Kids eagerly observe their everyday heroes, parents, teachers, mentors and coaches as examples for sure as they learn and develop life skills. Practicing what we preach sets their future stage.
What seriously gives the right to anyone, any age or position in life to speak down to anyone? It happens more than you may think. Words, gestures, actions and deeds matter. They can fill you up or tear you down. Choosing our words wisely is something to do with consideration.
So the conclusion to this week's reflection is, there's no going back. Once you hit send, or speak (pardon the graphic) vomit words without thought, it's pretty difficult if not impossible to reel them back in. If the damage is done, take the ever-loving, caring time and effort to rebuild and repair because the person you may have dented or hurt without truly intending to is worth the time it takes to make it better.
Why is Hey Jude playing in my head when I write this?
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