Most of us have been there: our dog jumps on a guest, grabs a shoe, or starts barking out the window, and your instinct is to say, “No!”—maybe even loudly. It feels like the right thing to do in the moment. But here’s the truth: saying “no” might stop the behaviour for a second, but it doesn’t teach your dog what you want them to do instead. And that’s where the real learning happens.
Dogs are intelligent and eager to connect with us—but they don’t come pre-programmed with an understanding of what behaviours we want. Left to their own devices, they’ll jump up to say hello, chew things that are not their toys, or bark to communicate excitement. None of these actions are “bad” from a dog’s perspective—they’re just normal dog behaviours.
If we only correct what we don’t like, we leave them guessing. But when we show them what we want—such as sitting to greet, chewing a toy instead of a shoe, or staying calm when the doorbell rings—they can succeed. Teaching your dog what’s expected sets them up for success and builds confidence.
Let’s say your dog jumps on you when you come home. You say “no,” and maybe they get down—but what happens next time? Probably the same thing. That’s because “no” just interrupts the moment; it doesn’t offer a solution. Instead, try teaching your dog to sit for greetings. Now they have a clear job to do, and you’re reinforcing a polite behaviour rather than scolding an unwanted one.
Dogs are excellent at figuring out what gets your attention. If barking out the window makes you come over and yell, that’s still attention—and it can actually reinforce the behaviour. But if being quiet earns them a treat or praise, they’ll begin to choose that instead. Show them a better option and reward it generously.
Imagine spending your day with someone who keeps pointing out what you’re doing wrong—but never tells you how to do it right. That’s how it can feel for a dog who hears “no” all the time. Over time, this kind of interaction can chip away at your dog’s confidence and strain your relationship.
On the flip side, when you highlight and reward good choices—like sitting calmly, walking nicely on leash, or waiting at the door—you create a more trusting, cooperative bond. Your dog begins to look to you for guidance.
What should you do? Instead of focusing on stopping the unwanted behaviour, think about what alternative good behaviour you’d rather have your dog do in that moment. If they bark when the doorbell rings, teach them to go to a mat and lie down. Don’t want them pestering you during dinner? Practice a “settle” cue with activities on a comfy bed nearby and reward them for staying put.
Bottom line: saying “no” might stop the behaviour in the moment, but teaching an alternative behaviour creates lasting change. And in the long run, that’s what leads to a better-behaved dog—and a much more enjoyable life together.
